The Heart Wrapped in Barbwire

Halloween Approaching!!

2006-10-21T14:56:40Z

It's so hard lately trying to update. So busy with all the school work and recently had two midterms and have 2 more to go. T__T

Today is the neighbour halloween party but I won't be able to go. I got sceduled to work. Anyway, we are suppose to be getting a new manger in November so I might meet him today. My current/original manger is still training him. The funny thing is my department is made up of all girls. I just hope that he doesn't get power hungry. I heard from my friend Sarah that her new manger is a total bitch and plan to fire all of them after christmas. But the employees are pissed and may plan to leave before christmas, the busiest time of the year.

Oh well, life goes on....

I recently ended a friendship yesterday. I kinda felt bad about it yet on the other hand not really. I gave my friend 3 chances and every time he screwed me over. He was all like "you've changed." And I'm just thinking to myself: ahh? Maybe he hasn't seen the mad side of me before... Anyway, he was being such a baby. I had given him the cold shoulder for a week. And then he since me an e-mail 2 days ago that he was in the hospital and missed talking with me. Talk about desperate for attention. Like I do care, but he's always looking for attention and he's so emotional he could really be a girl. Anyway, so I said some pretty hurtful things to him and then toppped it off and blocked him for good and deleted him. I'm tried of always saying sorry to people. For once, I'd like some to say sorry to me. He thinks this is all my fault. I admit maybe it's both of our faults. But at least I have theheart to admit it. We could have both worked together to build the friendship back but he popped up yesterday through msn and said ranting and raving. And I'm not one to just sit there and get attacked. I attack back. hardcore. Anyway, it's all over and I'm kinda thankful for it. Less to worry about. Plus, I'm hoping to get some new fiends any at Carleton.

I'm hoping to look into some clubs and join them and go to some meetings to make some new friends. Cause being lonely is so not cool.

On another note, Halloween is approaching and I'm sooo excited for it. I love it. It's my fav. holiday. ^___^

Well, thats it for me. I hope to update soon again. Luv ya all

S. <3

What... No Leeches!

2006-09-09T17:19:22Z

Ta-omg...

So ad my first day of university. It's so whack. The profs so far are nice. in one of my discussion groups I had to talk to the person beside me and it was this guy. He told me he noticed me on the O-Train. Creep-eh. I'm noticed. Though, I guess I was the only people on campus with a camouflage sweater. Also I got enough guts to start talking to these 2 girls in my language and social identity class. S'all good.

Though, I already got homework, which sucks. Majorly!

My dad and I are going out soon to go buy me some new binders and stuff for university. I'm hoping to get enough guts to drive again. I really want to get at least my G2 and then if I'm brave enough my full license. My major reason to get my G2 is that it would be easier to meet Matt since he lives like 40 minutes away from me. I feel bad that he'd have to always be the one driving up here when he gets his car. Not to mention, he said he'd be free to hang out tomorrow and I'm waiting (trying to patiently) for an answer or any word from him.

Blah.

Anyway, once I get my other university shit today I'm going to hit the books. *hit* er... O__O;;

XD

Things are already due in like 2 weeks. Gah. I'm going to die!

T___T

And I'm already shit of the bus system. And I feel so lonely at uni. Got no friends in my classes.

I hate starting over...reminds me of moving here. Start new for gr.6, then start new at high school, then switch high school cause of distict lines and now this...

*breathe*

And yes steph...I'm aware I have poor grammar in my last entry.... I was typing fast.

Also, if you wanted to hang out with me you could always ask me, you know?

Steph: *throws rubber duck at steffi*

Steffi: O__O *ducks*

Steph: Quack.

Steffi: You weird.

Steph: Ya, i know.

Steffi: Hows the leeches...

Steph: ^__^ Leechy and for now off my back... haha

Laters.

OMG Update and the craziness of today....

2006-09-04T10:30:50Z

So ya...

I thought I should update.

Summer has seemed to short. I'm a offical high school graduate. I'm now going into university, starting Sept. 7th, coming up soon and I get to laugh at my brother who has school on tues. I got some of my books so far.
I'm planning on going to the orientation on wed.

And now here i am, waking up too early out of nervousnessand excitement. You see I recently heard that an old friend of mine (Matt) from elementary school moved close to where i lived. I haven't seen or heard him in 7 years. In the last couple of weks I talked to him on MSN planning on hangin out with him. I finally had the guts on saturday to call his house but his mom picked up and said he was out car shopping. That same night the talked to me and I planned to call him last night and so I finally heard his voice. It's never what you expect. It's like a french like accent but he speaks perfect english. In elementary school, i suse to have this crush on him and anyway, I was too chicken to tell him. In gr.5 we separte ways. He moved to italy and I moved to where i am now. It was only a year after or so we somehow got our e-mails and talked and actually confessed that we had both liked each other.... how weird is that? Anyway, after years, it's amazing we are still in contact and about to see each other again. It's like something out of a story.

In five hours he should be calling to say he is about ready to be leaving. I still don't know what we should do. We sort of plan to walk around the area and just talk and update each other. Plus, there is some street party today, mostly for littlte kids though. But if there is really nothing to do, I told my brother and his friend if they could play strret hockey with us. It was kinda hard to think and ask what to do, cause Matt is kinda like me flexible and don't really care what w do as long as we hang out together. lol.

Oh well. I said we'll wing it. We might end up walking to the movie store and renting soemthing. But he's only around 3-4 hours. which may be good enough since it's only the first time we hang. It might be kinda arkward. Anyway, once he and I know how to travel to each other we agreed to hang out ever so often.

The sad thing is the thing I never want happen to me happened to him. Basically, growing up so old that it's really difficult to make new friends. He moved here like a month ago and is working with some older guys and isn't really around people his own age.

Anyway, awhile ago i got my bus pass and the picture is scary ad got my niversity card....the picture is yet again scary.

As the university day comes closer... it gets scarier. So many new things...so fast.

Well, this month is full of crazy things. There is almost brandi's and sarah's b-days. Brandi is planning on having a get together where all the invites are going to hull to some club and we are planning to stay the night at some hotel. She is also getting her cousin corey to come, sor of have a older male to protect us, but i don't know how well he's going to do that if he is drunk. lol.

Also, I guess sarah's alittle peeved cause brandi's party is inviting everyone else and interfereing with her b-day. Well, brandi came up with plans first. I don't see why they just do a joint party or something, have people all together and celebrating for 2 birhdays. And if we go on saturday at midnight, sarah will be able to get into the club since she'll offically be 18.

oh well, see how that goes...

welll, thats it for now...

hope to be back soon.

S.

So it's been awhile...

2006-07-21T03:09:50Z

So ya... it's been awhile... sorry for the not so long posting

So here's an update... alot can happen in only a month or two.

Well, I officially graduted from high school. Woo! Now only 4 more years of school in University... T__T man, when will it end?

Anyway, I started my soccer season and my team is crap. er... I had a game tonight and we lost. No help at all from defence. I'm all alone in goals. Apparently, I scream so loud and aggressively i scream the other team, stopping them in their tracks and even scare my own team...how sad is that. lol

Anyway, I'm being working abit more to save for university books.

And on my days off I hang out with people or lazed about around my room.

I saw pirates of the caribbean 2 it was so cool..and it's offically they are making three in total.

Also, since Sarah can;t go to toronto, I'm going now. YAY! it should be fun.

Then when I come back my old best friend from quebec/elementary school is coming to visit me and then later in august my german cousin will visit me. And Sarah is planning on having me and brandi have the cottage to ourselves and party.

Then my dad wants to go on a 2 day vacation with the family in some area in the mountains.

In addition, my parents asked if i wanted to live in resdience. i was surprirsed sinc eit's only half an our by bus. Anyway, we talked about and I think I'll do it for second year. I'm kinda excited to probably leave home for about a year. I personally think it would be nice to get away from my parents for about a year.

anyway, that's a quick update. hope tp be back with more to say. just right now i'm tired and sleepy. so night.

The Code

2006-05-17T21:14:28Z

Several movies are coming out that I want to see such as X-men 3 and The Davinci Code. So far, my parents are taking me to see the code on tuesday, if I don't have alot of homework. ^___^

There is less than a month of school left. yay!!

The Hamlet play is this friday.
We have a long weekend, no scool on monday and then we have jag jog on Wed. and then Grad retreat on Thrus. ^__^

Also, I don't have to work until sat. I'm really happy about that.

All this week has been gloomy. No rain...well, until this very second, 5:04 pm. The rain is coming dowhn hard.

woo!

Anyway, I have to do a summary thing for writer's craft, it sucks ass. lol. Though, I can't wait to get started on my short story. ^___^

Not to mention I have to finish my big story for the end of the year for this class. I'm loving it so far. ^____^

I'm planning to join the GLBT club at Carleton. I did research on it, and it looks cool.

so far most of my friends are headed to Algonquin, one is thinking of going to Ottawa U. Meanwhile, I'm headed off to Carleton.

And I need to get my G2 to drive. It's killing me that I'm stuck on G1. blah.

Seeing Myself with Surprised Eyes

2006-05-14T02:34:34Z

My day felt so fast and quick. It was a blurr.

I woke up, ate, surfed the net, made starryfeather here banner. Which I hear she loves. *takes a bow* hehee.

Then I had to get ready for work and I wroked from noon to 8:30. blah. I'm so tired now. Less then 25 days of school left and much less before prom.
eep!

Tomorrow I'm planning on finishing my orject for religion andget some work done.

I'm so excited for university. I'm oumped. I'm kinda happy to leave high school it was starting to get on my nerves. I need a new atmosphere with new people. I just need something else then all the drama and backstabs and fights, and sillyass nothing ness that seems to occur once in a while. If there was a grade thirteen I think I would go crazy. I feel like I need to move on.

It's funny, consider when I was in grade five I didn't even see myself moving on to grade six then grade six I didn't see myself move on to high school. I think apart of me thought I would just stop, die or just stay still. Weird, ain't it that I'm here now and quite successful or so says my parents.

And lately, I've been having little chats with my brother and I found stuff out that I would never imagine to hear from him. It's interesting.

This year seemed that I did alot of things I never knew I could do. For example I spoke up in class and let myself be heard, state my opinion. Also, I talked to people I won't normally talk to. Plus, I joined way more clubs and stuff likie graduation liturgy and grad commitity.

Sometimes, I surprise myself too.

How about that...

barbwired_heart @ 2006-05-09T10:15:00

2006-05-09T14:25:51Z

In writing craft it's really shitty considering I got my persuadsive article back and I nealry failed it. My teacher massaured it. I was so angry about it. She wrote that I should re-do it and re-enter it. My answer: I'm not going to do it. It's a waste of time. anyway, we started the fiction section of the class and I'm so pumped. I've been waiting for this all semester. This section is what I really love and I hope I'm open to write about anything because I hate being limited to what the teacher wants.

As for my writer's craft I.S.U it's slowly on its way. Though, I think I need to wrok faster because there are alot more things I need to get down. Time is wasting away and soon I may not have enough of it.

Anyway I don't work until maybe saturdfay so I have free time to doall my homework and prjects and finish all that crap.

All in all, I'm pretty good. It's going to be a hot day today. 23C. YAY!!!

laters.

barbwired_heart @ 2006-05-05T10:43:00

2006-05-05T14:46:40Z

'Ello!

I'm currently in the computer lab with steffi!
^-^

I had to correct by writer's craft article which is due today. I love spares, with it's joyousn free time and also when I need it, I get extra time to do homework and cram. Me so bad.

Anyway, Sarah seems to be sick again. Which is weird considering she has this thing where she makes a big deal about how she never is sick. Well, I do know that my brother has been sick really bad. He has been out of school for about a week.

This weekend my parents are out of the country and I was hoping my brothjetr would go to. But considering his illness I'm stuck with him. gah.

Anyway, I have to work this Saturday from noon to close then on Monday. Then I have the week off. Yay!!!

^___^

Lately, I've been getting alot of homework in my classes. It's such a bummer. I'm hoping to do alot of work when I get home but it might be done. Usuaully fridays are a lazy night. On Sunday my mom is dragging me along to this women's show. She said we probably won't be there all day which would be good. Also, her friend and daughter are joining us. The kid is like 2 years younger and I've seen her around school. She's is guy crazy and girlish and preppy, all the things I'm against and the opposite of. Er...

On a different note, prom is not far away. Less than a month's time. Eep.

Two nights ago I went to the school play with some friends. It was called: The world high school play in the world.

Let me tell you this, it is far from the worst. Sure they try to make it seem they had drama "problems" but the story line was good and original, plus it had tons of humour. Plus, there was even music and an beyond amazing finale. A duel of course. Well, more like a dance off... at first it's the evil uncle king between the true heir... and they tango.... then all of the sudden Seal Paul - Tempeature rages through the speakers. It was hiliarious. ^-^

This month consists of....

Mother's day
Hamlet play (frickin $20 to do it)
Grad lit. dog tag design due (note to self send the damn design to Leea)
Jag Jog
.....

And keep ya updated...

I hope.

Crazy. Sushi. Stalker. Cookie. Ticket. Gah. Story. Update.

2006-05-03T00:59:39Z

Blah. Craziness.

Sorry I haven't had a chance to update. Lately, it's been busy and I sort of forgot. plus, I got a visit from my uncle awhile ago and he got me a laptop. kool, eh? Anyway, I remembered now...so that should count. :P I really need to go to bed early. I've been getting lack of sleep lately. not good.

Believe it or not, We only have 2 months left of school and one month before prom. eep!! I still need to get some stuff and my mom is buggin me about it. gah

Anyway, I work this thrusday then on saturday. Then on Sunday i promised my mom i would go to this girl day thing with her friend and kid. The kid is a girlly nightmare. Geeze,,, i hope i survive. T___T

Also, I need to fix my design on the dog tags for the grads. The meeting is tomorrow. Also, I bought tickets today for the school play. yay! I'm going with jess. ^___^

Oh ya! and speaking of which, at lunch it was so weird. I was at the lunch table where all my friends are and I was eating lunch (I tried sushi... not my best experience but now i can say I tired it!!))) and we were talking. all of the sudden I feel someone brush her hand on my back and I look up to see Miss Stalker aka Chelsea walk by. Errr.... I thought I told her to back off. Then I brushed it off and was like maybe she did it by accident???

But then a couple of minutes later, she comes by and actually stops in front of our table. My first reaction was being shocked and thinking "what the hell are you doing!?!?!"

And all she is left doing is throwing a cookie in front of my face and says something like see ya later. like wtf?

Brandi has dubbed the cookie: The stalker cookie and took picturtes of it. Meanwhile we all snacked on it. lol.

Ok, so moving on I got tickets to go see the play and I know i will be hanin with jess. It's called: the wrost high school play ever." lol. And there has been ads on the annoucements and it's going to be funny.

Anyway, I did most of my homework and soon enough I will be typing more of my story.

well, thats all folks for now.

Steph.

xox

Charcoal Skies & the Threat of Rain

2006-04-13T15:57:09Z

Well, it's a cloudy day.

I just sent an e-mail to my good friend Jamie. I miss talking to him on MSN. But lately, been so busy I'm on the computer less so less chatting with peoples. Anyway, my mom got me to help clean the house. I decided not to go to school today since it would be a ghost town anyway. So here I am, trying to catch up on homework and start designing the dogtags for the grads. I hope they'll like them.

Later on today, I'm going to picking up my last book from the library, I'll read for my ISU project. In total I'm goingt o have read about 5-8 books.. Then I'm going to start writing my story. eep. I'm going to scare the crap of all the homophobes in the class. XD

Tonight, I'm working. I haven't work in like a week, and kinda excited to see my co-workers. I'm closing with one of the new people so I'm mostly going to be ordering her around until she understands how to close. I hear she doesn't know how to reduce the food. So I might have to show her that.

Also, soon, I'm going to have to shop for my mom's birthday. I don't know what to get her. Though, I asked her. And all she said she wanted was this soap. like whgat the? O.o I want to get her something more. she deserves it. And now that I have a job I have actual money to spead on people. lol. Also, my family is going to go shopping soon to look for farm boy stuff for my parents as a gift to them. I'm sure they'll love it.

Anyway, that's it from me for now.
laters.

barbwired_heart @ 2006-04-07T10:15:00

2006-04-07T14:34:19Z

TGIF.

Yesterday, I headed over with my friend Steph to EB games to get her game book. The clerk there almost knows our names by now since he go there almost every two weeks. Then we headed off to Indigo and I bought myself a book, called "Define Normal" which I have been waiting to buy for quite some time now. Lately, I've been addicted to the author Julie Anne Peters. She's awesome. Also, I got a comic book....the new X-men series. I read it last night in like 5 minutes. lol. so good. lol.

Anyway, I'm hoping to order 2 books by Peters called Far from Xanadu and Between Mom and Jo. And awhile ago, I have bought Luna and Keeping you a secret. She tends to be writing about topics that society is scared on talking about like gay rights and T-girls and boys (transgender. Books like keeping you a secret and between mom and jo is about lesbians and Luna is about a boy who feels like he was always meant to be a girl.

Yesterday, the school had a short day, got out an hour earlier since it was gr.7 and 8 interviews (teacher and parents. I get report cars in two weeks. eep. I'm suppose to get an average of 90% but i don't think I'll be achieveing that. The best I may be giving is in the high 80's. And by may 12 I need to send into the school i have choosen to go to. eep.

I'm doing well at my job at Farm boy, I'm getting money and saving for my univerity books. From time to time, I used some of it to buy little things like movies or books but I'm not a big spender.

In about 2 weeks or so my uncle will be coming up to visit and giving a laptop which is a graduation gift. I can't wait because it's all mine and I don't have to worry about my brother begging me to go on the computer. Now with the rest of high school, I get to do it for the rest of my assignments. I can't wait to see my uncle. It's been awhile.

It's exciting.

Tonight, I'm going to work. I had the week off. I'm hoping to get my new scedule tonight or so I hope. We are suppose to be getting new people in my department. I'm hoping I'll start getting only 2 shifts a week. ^___^ yay! I wonder who I'm workin' with tonight.... at least I hope I'm working with someone tonight. O___O;; It would suck if I had to close by myself.

ttyl.
BWH.

Whoa... I'm an ice cream flavour...

2006-04-04T14:37:53Z

Your Icecream Flavour is...Neopolitan!

You aren't satisfied with just one flavor. They say variety is the spice of life and this shines through in your Ice cream of choice! Just don't eat all the chocolate and leave the strawberry and vanilla behind!

What is your Icecream Flavour?

Find out at Go Quiz

How To Make Moi!

2006-04-04T14:35:17Z

How to make a barbwired_heart

Ingredients:

5 parts pride

3 parts arrogance

3 parts joy

Method:
Stir together in a glass tumbler with a salted rim. Top it off with a sprinkle of fitness and enjoy!

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

Changed Once Again

2006-04-04T14:15:20Z

Yup. I changed the layout again. I was unhappy with the bright pink (punk pink) and I changed it back to black. I really would like to add a background of original artwork or something or a banner. But I think I need some time to figure how to do that. I can make banners and such and I know how to do some coding but since I never really used this site to do backgrounds and stuff it's a new thing to learn.

YAY! for new layout.

PrAISe WeEkeNds

2006-03-31T20:08:55Z

Woo! It's finally the weekend! YAY!

^___^ I'm working tonight. But I don't mind I hardly ahve any homework and I only work tomorrow afternoon. Also, I have sunday off and then I work on monday but only til 8 pm so I'm happy. ^___^

I read the speech I wrote for Writer's craft. It went well. I was pretty happy with it.

Today was warm. I think spring is doing a good job. It was 20 C. ^__^

Also, people are changing the price of the limo and keep begging me to go. blah.

Anyway, the seating arrangements are going on and I'm glad I have at least some friends.

Well, I'm off to have something to eat. I go to work in less than an hour.

TGIF.

barbwired_heart @ 2006-03-28T17:21:00

2006-03-28T22:37:32Z

Blah. So I'm currently home alone. I'm trying to finish up most of my homework. I felt that I shouldn't go to the restaurant with my parents, I need to finish alot of stuff. I think it would be best since I work tomorrow. X____X Anyway, I'm takinga small break at the moment, trying to update this thing.

So today there was a mass at my school.... healing day.

Anyway, I recently decided where I am going to university. So I'm really happy. Going to Carleton. I already have a scholarship plsu they already giving me an extra $1000. ^__^

Also, work got alittle bit better. I got my manger to only let me work 2 days a week which should be better for school and then when I end school in july I can work more and get money for university books.

Ok! so time for update on the limo, I have to give my final answer tomorrow. And I know that I'm going to say no because I'm going to pay for it and I don't want to waste my money on a one nighter. Blah.
Everyone will be mad but whatever, lack of information too on it. A part of me can't wait to get out of high school and start making new friends. I don't mean to be mean but the people I usually hang out with sometimes piss me off. It's like I'm stuck in immaturity vile and I feel out of place. Gah!

Also, I have other friends in the school, sometimes I wish I could hang out with but as much as I say judgement of others don't really bother me in the back of my head it does. Though, on the other hand, if I really want to do something I do it. Sometimes, my mom wishes she was strong like me. I try to defend myself and I'm happy with the way I am. I feel secure and feel that I don't really need someone to make be feel grounded. I think I cherish the independent way of my life.

I'm blabbing about nothing I know. *rolls eyes*

<3

P.S. You're crazy steph but I love you for it! :P XP

Hate the normalcy and love being difference. ^____^

Craziness

2006-03-25T17:47:17Z

So tis the weekend once more. yay! Though, it doesn't seem to be relaxation but more work! Er... I miss the old times when I was being lazy around the house. I feel that I'm getting depressed anf fraustrated with my new job. On top of that I'm getting pressure to get 90% in all my classes from my father. Anyway, I have to figure out what do today and talk to my supervisor, then we will see what happens.

Anyway, with homework, this weekend, it's not so bad. I have to study for family atudies and religion. As well, I have to start reading for write's craft. I already have an idea of what I'll be doing. I'm the type of person that doesn't like to be so calm and suttle. I like writing stuff that might make people nervous. Plus, I like writing stuff that people may have never thought of writing before. So I think I may be studying LGBT. I go to a catholic school so there is bound to be some people getting/feeling out of place. I feel like laughing at homophobes. lol

Anyway, I'm happy I finally got my prom dress. It's quite nice. I haven't worn a dress in years.On a side note, I have this friend that wants to rent a limo. There would be about 6 people going and each of us would probably have to pay close to a 100 bucks plus, she wants us to come together to give the driver a 100 tip. gah. A group of my friends are telling me if i don't do it, i'm going to be embarrassed that i got a druve from my parents and i keep telling them that i wouldn't care. Like who's going to know and why should people care about me? it's like geeze...at least I'm going! and in a dress too.

people are so demanding.

over and out.

barbwired_heart @ 2006-03-19T10:18:00

2006-03-19T15:41:00Z

Today is the last day of vacation and surprisingly enough I'm excited to go back to school. It means I can finally have a break from the business of my work place. They had there grande opening on thrusday and I've been working as if I were a chicken with its head cut off. There's still so much to learn. I'm being rather overwhlemed to the point I want to cry and wish I were home. Though, I seem to keep that in, because it wouldn't be nice to cry at work. Also, my parents consistly tell me how proud they are. Sometimes, I want to just quit but when they saying all those things it gets harder. Plus, I don't want to seem as a quitter and I still need to get money to pay for my books for university. It's a deal I have with my parents. Also, it was hard enough getting this job. So I guess I have to suffer until september.

I have to work today, again. Yesterday I had to work from 2pm to 8pm but there was so much clean up I was there til 9:30. Though, I get paid for everything. But I still wished i was done by 8:30. I'm so worn out. And yet again, today I work from 2-8pm and I predict I will be there for an extra hour since it's only me and this other clueless girl closing with me. Though, my supervisor said she will leave her number with us so if we have trouble she'll come over and help us. Er...

Ya. that's it for me. Mostly complaining.

<3

barbwired_heart @ 2006-03-10T12:33:00

2006-03-10T17:43:40Z

Well, it's offical, I'm on March Break. Freedom.

I'm so glad. Though, on the other hand, I have to work tonight from 3:30 to 9pm. :( Oh well. Money, money money. And it's only an orientation for the new store so it can't be that bad.

Today when I got to school and then headed for my first teacher, my teacher asked why I was there and told me to go home because it wasn't worth it. lol. Like how many teachers do you know does that. lol It was great. Eventually, around 11 I got my mom to pick me up. So techniquely, I'm on my vacation early. >.< yay!

Right now, I'm hoping to write chapter 8 to my story about my made-up character for X-men. Alot of people would be excited to read the next chapter. ^___^

Anyway, I'll be around. laters.

Life is Currently Crazy & Demanding...

2006-03-06T01:16:33Z

Hey guys!

Since Friday, I did nothing but work. I have a job at Farm boy and I'm currently traing for the new store which is suppose to open on March 15th. I don't even feel ready yet. Anyway, the people who had been training me have been nice. Though, this one girl who is training with me is a real bitch. She thinks she knows how to do everything right and faster. Though, she did quite a few mistakes today where the training people had to tell her to fix.

Also, she had to put the finish cardboard in this big bin that was in front of me, where I was doing something on the counter on top of it. Most of the people, the chefs who work beside us in the department, ask me nicely to move so they can place their cardboard there. I don't mind. But she was just standing there and I didn't know she was behind me waiting for me to move. Then one of the girls training with us said "just ask her (me)." And I turned, and the girl was all whining saying she didn't want to be rude. OMG, excuses. *rolls eyes* I told her all she had to do was ask me nicely and I told her I don't bite.

While, I'm working I'm a very shy and quiet person, and follow direction. If someone talks to me I'm respond. But if someone is really being mean to me, I'm not afraid to tell them to back off. Some people are surprised when I react cause they think by me being quiet that's it's easy to manipulate or do something wrong with me. Though, I'm quite indepedant and not afraid to do what I have to do.

Anyway, now that, that is out of my system... I just felt really tired and overwhelmed with all the new stuff I had to do. Not to mention on Satuday I thought I was usppose to go in at 7am when really I was sceduled for 6am. I felt so terrible when I arrived and my supervior was telling me I was late. I wanted to die right there. I felt shitty and I had losing sleep. I'm so frickin' tired.

(I'm sorry I'm writing so might, you guys won't want to read this all, but I'm just releasing my fraustration... you may keep going though...)

Also, I missed soccer two weeks in a row! and I'm missing it teribly.. i miss being goalie and my team mates. I hate being uncomfortable and out of place. X__X Though, my parents are happy about me having a job and it's my first one, so it's like I can't screw up. I have alot of pressure being the first child and all, setting examples for my baby brother (he's 16 in june.)

I'm trying to take it slow and try to make it feel normal as possible. I try to look calm on the outside, when really on the inside I'm exploding with all different kind of emotions. Fear. sadness. Excited. Overwhelmed. Depressed. Happy. Nervous...

There's a list of things going on now...

a fight with a friend
work
school
future plans for university
things to keep in order
homework
and the rest of life need to do things.

blah. There's no breaks in life....moving, moving always.

Anyway, it's back to school and I'm kinda glad for it... I finally have a break from work. I can't believe I'm saying this but I'm excited to get back to school.

Well, I guess that's all have to let out right now.

Night. <3

A Dash of Pissed

2006-03-02T21:50:10Z

Lately, things seem to have been such a downer. Been having problems in my family, long time feuds that never seem to end. "you did that so I'm saying this to you..." "It's all your fault." "Don't tell me what to do!"

Oi... I'm stuck in the middle. It's my mom side that she having the fight.
They want to come for my graduation but they are hurting my mom. My aunt and uncle want to give me a laptop and plan to come up. But my mom doesn't want to be fake to invite them. Nor does she want them to cause any problem. But I feel like I'm the only one who is grown up. I told her I would talk to them. Plus, my grandfather is coming he seems to lose his mind and saying random things to get himself out of theproblem. I just feel why should I have downers at an happy event. Though, I feel I should just invite family, if they do something bad, I tink I'm old enough to speak out and tell them off.

I'm just fraustrated with it all. Ever since my grandmother died, things seem to get worst with my mom's side.

Also, as of late, my friend maeg has been doing a co-op program and me and my friends don't see her anymore so all she has is MSN. Though her version is really bad. Anyway, she blew up at me because apparently I wasn;t giving her much detail why I was feeling horrible. But I was no in the mood to say anything yet so I told her nevermind and let me deal wit this first. But she rants that no one tells her anything and she thinks that one of my friends is doing drugs. But she's not.

Lack of clear communication! gah!

I'm getting stressed out. Nowm that I have a job and on top of that homework and now all this shit with family and friend, plus up-coming university is just killing.

T___T

Barbwire.

The Weekend

2006-02-24T22:56:40Z

Been awhile since I updated.

Well, my birthday was the 21st and it was great. I'm still wondering what do do with all the money I got.

Today, it was a short day at school. It was fun. Afterwards, I went with some friends to a restaurant. I'm still stuffed. X___X; Then, we headed over to EB games. Then we checked out Indigo. I bought Model the fifth one. Yay! can't wait to read it. I still have to read the comic book I got when I went with Steph. I'm hoping that next week, I can go back to Indigo with some moeny and got the comic book I saw today! it's the x-men comic book I was searching for and they had it!!! omg. V__V I love x-men. and I recently got into collecting the comic books. I'm into the new academy X-men. It's a new series so I'm following along. The more old stories are hard to follow because some of the history/ past time stuff I'm clueless. ...She died and he died and then they were reborn and they had twin in an alternate reality. O__O;;

Anyway, I'm hoping to sleep well tonight considering i start working.training for my job at Farm boy. I'm reeling inthe dough! muwahaha. Then 3 hours later after that I have to babysitting for 6 hours. gah! Plus, I have to get together with christine to work on the family studies project. eep. got to get started. But it's easy so I'm not too worried.

Well, off I go.
XP

So long weekend (for now)

2006-02-20T20:50:29Z

The weekend is over and it's back to school.
I had a soccer tournament all weekend. I played goalie and my whole body still aches (probably for the next 2 days). It hurts to even sit. That mustn't be a good thing? Anyway, my team nearly got first place. We were 3 points away from getting first. Oh well... next year!

On the saturday, I had an early b-day party and it was getting. The food at the restaurant was great and the waiters were hot. Then we watched Elizabethtown and it was an awesome movie. Orlando Bloom rocks. I recommend it.

As for today, I hardly have any homework. yay! And I got a call from my workplace and I finally start training this saturday.

Currently, I'm having fun talking with my good friend Jamie and debating with my friend Chelsey. I love talking with people and listening to them. Sometimes it makes me smile when they have something funny to say or said that they feel that they had a good day. Nice people are always fun to be around.

^__^

My Past Life...

2006-02-18T00:59:19Z

I found this site a few minutes ago and thought I'd share it.

check it out: http://www.thebigview.com/pastlife/

Past life diagnosis:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I don't know how you feel about it, but you were male in your last earthly incarnation.
You were born somewhere in the territory of modern Wales around the year 1675.
Your profession was that of a dramatist, director, musician or bard.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Your brief psychological profile in your past life:
You always liked to travel and to investigate. You could have been a detective or a spy.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The lesson that your last past life brought to your present incarnation:
You should develop self-love and ability to implant hope into hearts of people. Ambition is not everything. True wealth is buried in your soul.

Play Nice

2006-02-16T15:29:13Z

Yesterday wasn't the greatest as I had wanted it to be.
In the morning it was great. I was very excited to go with my friend Steph to the book store and do some shopping during spare. We walked from school to the stores, which are only 5-10 minutes away from the school. As usual, we have fun talking about anything. When we got there we usually head to the manga section. We check out whats new and/or what we'd like to buy. Then we headed off to the movie section and I bought the movie I've been waiting to get which was Corpse Bride. Then I got the lastes addition to Honey Mustard (#2 & #3). After we were finished looking around, we headed off to Hallmark to just wonder around. Then, happily, we ventured off to the pet store. There were the fishes, then the birds... some were annoying and some we very cute. Then the furries! There was ferrets, which were adorable. They were sleeping in a mini hammick. Then there were mice, a furry rabbit (which Steph wanted to bring home) and hamsters. Afterwards, we left to go back to school it was almost time for lunch. While we walked we noticed that we smelled like hamster hay...among other things.

Then after lunch, thats when it started getting a bad vibe kinda feeling. I am having an arranged party with some of my friends. But it seemed they did most of the inviting... some saying they already bought my gift and some already expecting to be invited. So it felt I had no choice. So since it was like that I decided to do something special on the actual day of my birthday, which would be going out for lunch. But one of my friends who thinks we are like totally connected best friends, heard what I was doing on that day bursted out that she was planning to do something with me. Yet she never told me this before hand and I automatically made plans of my own. I'm not going to wait around for everybody and follow them around.
Also, awhile ago, another friend say she couldn't make it cause she was working on that day and expected me to say something. But it's her scedule, I'm not going to worry about every little detail. So I told her that I wasn't going to like cry about it.

Afterwards, after school, a friend of mine was at my locker and she seems mad for some reason. She asked if another friend had bitched at me last night so I said sure, cause this person always telling me something wrong with life. So my friend who was at my locker said "good." So blunt and angrily, I guessed she was talking about something else...so I left without saying anything else. And to top it all off, my Mp3 headphone fell off and i said shit as one of my fav. teachers told me nicely, "have a good night." and all he heard was swearing. I felt so embarrassed when I walked to my bus. I couldn't believe how such a nice day turned into Hell. Plus, I'm the type of to person repeatedly think about the bad things that happened and focus on how I could fix it, knowing that I can't. It's fraustrating.

Anyway, aside from that I gave in a poem to be printed in the yearbook. And right now the day has been ok. I'm now in the computer room with my friend, Steffi aka starryfeather, which makes me more happy then anyone else. *cyber cookies for her!*

Until next time.
Love and don't be mean to others!
Play nice!